I Got You Babe

             It was a time of sexual liberation, peace, love and freedom. Culottes and Go-Go Boots were in and you could see women in bikinis on the beach thanks to Annette Funicello and her musical Beach Party. Teenagers and young adults were in mini-skirts, bell-bottom jeans, tie dye, headbands and large paisley prints. The revolution saw an onslaught of barefoot and braless women! For me it brings to mind “Summer of 69” made popular in the 1980s by Bryan Adams. Not for my parents, Gary and Nancy, songs like “Aquarius” by The 5^th Dimension and “Dizzy” by Tommy Roe floated on the sound waves emanating from the radio. It is intriguing how the musician seems to speak to your life with extreme accuracy. Gary and Nancy had their song; “I Got You Babe” by Sonny and Cher. Hmmmm, can you guess how I got my name, Cherie? Sometimes the song has an almost prophetic accuracy that only time can reveal. My parents related to the songs melody, reveling in the “I got you Babe.” cognizant that someone “to walk with,” “to talk with,” “to hold your hand” and “to understand” was paramount in a lasting love.

            In high school my parents were not freely giving out the love, they lived on the flipside of that vinyl. My mother was intelligent, obedient, and beautiful as she still is today. She was raised with the attitude of respecting your elders and doing what you were told. My dad played guitar in a band, the Encytes, and while he wanted to appear the bad ass, I have a hard time believing that he actually attained that status at just over five foot tall. He was a good kid from the “wrong side of the tracks.” It is somewhat the classic love story, two young teens from opposing social backgrounds finding that the heart wants what the heart wants. She was fifteen and he was sixteen and they were going steady! Despite the moments of separation and the exploration of connecting with another, the gravitational pull ensured them the reminiscent title of “High School Sweethearts.”

Despite his short stature, compassionate heart and warm nature he did actualize “bad ass” status, he is a Marine. In 1969 embedded deep in the jungle he was nearing the end of his tour in Vietnam. Mom, in the shadow of fear and worry of danger that encompassed her soldier, sought to expand her horizons at Millsaps College in Jackson Mississippi. The adolescent that left for Vietnam was about enjoyment and had no real plans for future career or financial stability, as normal for that age. She knew their “love won’t pay the rent” and that “before it’s earned, our money’s all been spent.” Even though her heart and mind were not devoted to her studies she intended to finish college and put off marriage.

            My maternal grandparents were amazing people, but sometimes the dynamics of parents and their children are influenced by life experiences and deep emotional worries over their well-being. My grandfather, Redpop, was a pipe-liner and a Marine. My Nana was a beautiful force of nature that could swiftly take your breath away, but their story is for another day. Redpop brought out the assertive, strong, practical and obedient nature in my mother while my Nana brought out the apprehensive but rebellious temperament. In April of 1969 the perfect storm brewed in my parent’s life that would reconcile fate, kismet, destiny or whatever you call it when the cosmos aligns. This moment in time seems the pivotal point that came together to either ensure or erase my existence. Redpop was on a job in Texas and my Nana had accompanied him. Mom was headed back to the family home on spring break and to care for the family Boxer, Scarlet, and my dad was coming home from his tour.

            The reunion was a revelation in time, love and existence. Best laid plans of college, careers, of practical thought out life preparations faded giving way to the unknown. Sentiments from Sonny and Cher, “’Cause I don’t care, with you I can’t go wrong,” enticed their devotion to each other. In reflection, my mother affirms that “In those first couple of days we both just knew.”  However, a dilemma prohibited the actualization of the future they envisioned. Dad was nineteen and mom was eighteen, not quite old enough in Indiana to get married. Even the state shared the judgement of mom’s parents; “They say were young and we don’t know, we won’t find out until we grow.” They were determined believing, “Well I don’t know if all that’s true, ‘cause you got me, and baby I got you.” Thankful for best girlfriends, who were positive that in the great state of Mississippi they only had to be eighteen, their mind was made up. They had the transportation, the witnesses and the conviction, they would elope!

As the rebellion rose in my mother she composed a note to her parents that sealed the new life adventure, one of her own making and choice. Firm in her belief that this was meant to be her dutiful nature must have been screaming. I wonder though, had this moment been allowed to pass without action, without decisiveness would destiny have went astray. Would they have returned to the paths they were already on, and would those paths have eventually led them apart? 

            They packed up mom’s Volkswagen Bug, Beelzebub, loaded up Scarlet and set off to Mississippi leaving the note and the weight of authority and judgement in the dust.

Standing in front of the Justice of the Peace wanting his confirmation that their future was theirs, it was thwarted as dad needed to be 21. Her girlfriend was again positive that Alabama had no such restrictions to prevent their happiness. Disappointed but not disheartened they returned to Beelzebub with Alabama in the headlights and Mississippi in the rear view.  

            The ever looming Justice of the Peace, once again informed them that dad was too young. Their wedding day would have to wait, unless they had four hundred dollars, in which he could overlook the age restriction. With minimum wage only being about a dollar, a military man and a college student could not muster together a fortune of that caliber. With the realization that love and determination had put them in a dire situation, the race was on to confiscate the looming note that threatened impending suffering if my grandparents should get to it first.

            The emotional day and the many miles demanded a stop for sleep. Mom stayed with a girlfriend in Tupelo, while dad got a hotel room with Scarlet. Tension and emotions were running in high gear. The thoughts of what they would have to face with my grandparents, what would they do and what would they think. The rebellious trip carried out in the chariot Beelzebub would surely lead to terrible consequences. Both thinking that my Redpop and Nana were going to kill them. They would face it together and as their song reaffirmed, “and when I’m sad, you’re a clown, and if I get scared, you’re always around.” Back on the road from Tupelo to Bloomington anxious nerves and silent pleas to make it back before anyone got the note weighed heavy in the atmosphere. Beelzebub may not have been the best choice in partners for this journey, because my grandmother was waiting for them when they arrived.

            For all their worry there was not a death sentence awaiting just some disheartened parents who wanted to see their child finish college and make the most of her life. With the assurance my Nana needed that there was no reason that they needed to get married so quickly and that my mother’s honor was still intact the blessing was given and planning for a proper wedding was set quickly in motion. About ten days following the attempt the wedding took place in a church per my Nana’s wishes. There was some rebellion left in my mother though, instead of the long flowing gown my Nana had hoped for, my mother got married in a mini-skirt. With that their song rang true; “I got you to wear my ring!”

            The repetition of history is a funny thing. For all the emotions stirred and the hopes and dreams one can have for another something right always falls into place. The history of my grandparents being very similar to my parents. Redpop was a Marine just home from World War II when my Nana dropped out of college to marry him. Both were married on April 13th in the same church.

            Once again they packed up Beelzebub with Scarlet for a future unknown but filled with love. Again Sonny and Cher in their prophetic song, “I guess that’s so, we don’t have a plot, but at least I’m sure of all the things we got.” Camp Lejeune in North Carolina was the destination.

We all know that life is never smooth or easy and upon arrival dad was sent out on ship to the Caribbean for three months. A famous psychic, Jeane Dixon predicted his ship would be lost or sink in the Bermuda Triangle, thankfully she was wrong. Soon mom was pregnant with my brother and the trials and tribulations that accompany happiness and fulfillment in a marriage began. Redpop hauled down a trailer for them and they knew that together “there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb.” Fifty-one years, two kids and three grandchildren later they are still singing “I Got You Babe.”